Chelsea Fagan

Wearing nice underwear.

You feel genuinely mystified when you see grandiose displays of affection on social media, as though you’re missing a fundamental part of your brain.

Hey. Yeah, you, with the anxiety.

Accept the fact that it’s not going to happen. Force yourself to say it out loud, if necessary.

“Are you not going to be fun anymore?”

There are many kinds of porn in this world. There is porn porn, there is food porn, there is travel porn, and then there is my least favorite genre of all, General Lifestyle Porn.

I’ve had the same friends for a long time. My closest friend is also my oldest, and we’ve had near-daily internet chats for going on 15 years now.

I am trying to be healthier. And yes, a big part of that is increased energy, better skin, and a generally lighter feeling, but part of that is a bit of weight loss.

Everyone makes stupid relationship choices when they’re becoming an adult.

Yes, everything tastes better when sautéed with garlic. But nothing tastes as good as broccoli.

It doesn’t just have to be the usual, “Hey, here’s a nice bouquet of flowers just for existing,” though that can be nice.

This is perhaps the saddest case I’ve ever dealt with in all my years of practice. The pair met in a drug-rehab clinic.

Whenever I listen to it, I think of the person I’m with and I immediately feel a hundred times more in love. It’s like a drug to me.

Men and women are always worried about, “What do we have in common, do we both play tennis?” It is much more important that you have in common that what you have to give, they value. By value, I mean appreciate.

Showing you his music is not just a cut-and-dry process of “Hey, here’s this song/band I really enjoy, why don’t you check it out so you cane enjoy it, too?” It’s a process where you have to be still and silent for an extended period of time so that you can make sure to absorb it in just the right conditions, then answer a thirty-question pop quiz at the end. You have to get it. Do you get it?

Probably the best talk show appearance either of them have been involved in.

Suddenly, when not weighed down by oil or product, the roots of my hair had lift and volume, and the ends didn’t feel dried out and lifeless.

I just… we all need to bow down to this girl.