Motherhood is messy and staggeringly beautiful. It is overflowing with great joy, laughter, tenderness, and immeasurable responsibility. As mothers, we strive to make our families the heart of our day-to-day lives, and we redefine what it means to be tired, to be busy, to multitask with grace and patience. We love with our whole hearts and do everything in our power to give and give selflessly.

Through it all, my daughters are the core of my universe. I want them to always see me as I am: a woman, a wife, a writer, a daughter, a friend, a hopeless romantic; a momma. We are, as parents, massively skilled jugglers, and it is not always easy to strike a balance. 

When I know that my family’s cups are full, I am able to make sure my cup is full as well. A massive part of this is making sure that my family’s health and physical wellbeing is at the forefront of our routines. 

Routines guide and shape our days while adding built-in safeguards. They can be as simple or as complicated as you like. Figuring out what works for you and your family right where you are now is one of the most important tools at your disposal when so much of your world may seem out of your control in the first months and years of motherhood. 

What has helped me the most so far in my motherhood journey, is the ability to step back and analyze what is in my power to change, adjust, or improve. There are, of course, challenges that simply must be faced head-on when your children are little, but there are also numerous solutions to some of the largest stressors.

1.) Adequate Sleep. 

Sleep refuels and rejuvenates us in a way that is palpable from the moment we open our eyes. The sun streaming in to stir us from our slumber, a singing alarm, or the sweet early morning cries of our littles all hold such different weight when we are properly rested. 

We have to be able to rest in order to function at our highest capacities during the day. Making sure we schedule in the time to get the sleep we need is essential, especially in the space of early motherhood. 

This may seem difficult or unattainable when you are waking up many hours of the night, or have early morning risers. Start somewhere small, like getting the kids ready for bed 30-45 minutes earlier. When you are settled for the night, put down your phone and pick up a book, a crossword, or something tangible to tire your brain. Head to bed as early as you can for as many days a week as possible, and let your mind and body recharge for yourself and your family.

2.) Health Routines.

When there are many plates to be juggled and hats to be worn, having a simple health routine is often one of the most significant ways to create and maintain the balance of a day to day life with littles. Our weeks tend to look like pieces from several different puzzles all mismatched and trying to find their perfect placements amidst the chaos. To simplify it, motherhood is hectic, and if we can find some ways to alleviate that stress or simplify it, we should take them. 

There are two main pieces of my health routine that have decreased my stress and added an extra boost to my energy. The first piece is staying active (this is typically light physical activity) and the second is adding in supplements to support both my own and my family’s general  health.* 

In my own world, I have found that walking outside, breathing in fresh air, throwing on some music for a dance party, or trying an online workout class greatly improves my overall feeling and outlook on the day. I aim for 30-60 minutes of activity, and sometimes it helps to include my children as well. (My children love dance parties first thing in the morning.) 

In addition, I take Rhodiola Energy from Nature’s WayⓇ, which is a supplement for adults that promotes mental stamina as well as physical endurance.* When taken in addition to a healthy and active lifestyle, this can have an impact on things like general stamina without so many peaks and valleys.* On days that are very mentally straining, adding this to my morning routine before breakfast has made such a difference for me. The ability to have mental and physical endurance is critical, and Rhodiola Energy truly helps me maintain that.*

The other supplement is one that my children take, and that is the Sambucus Gummies for Kids, also from Nature’s Way. As a family of four, we are almost always on the go and there is no telling where we will be on any given day. The children have activities, play dates, and we travel to and from family frequently. Sambucus Kids Gummies are a blend of vitamin C, zinc, and black elderberry extract which is helpful in the daily support of their immune systems.* My daughters both love these because they are elderberry flavored, and it gives me such peace of mind that my children have an extra layer of immune support, especially during the winter months.*

3.) Mental Health Awareness

Your mental health is sacred. How can you be present, involved, or hold patience if you are pouring from a cup that has run completely dry? It is important to check in with yourself once a week and take a full and honest mental log of how you have been doing. Are you exhausted? Drained? Stressed? Are you joyful? Excited by a new day? See what you can do to thoroughly evaluate your headspace, adjusting or shifting what’s necessary within the next week to improve your mental health. When we create awareness of our own mental health, we start to challenge the “why” behind feeling those feelings.

One of the most important things I have done for myself in my adult life, is making the time to seek out and find a therapist that will listen and understand this current season and the roads I have traveled to get here. Seeing a professional who is without bias or judgement can help navigate both challenges and joys, and can create an even deeper, more intimate understanding of yourself.

4.) Surrounding Yourself With Love

So often as adults, we live far away from family. This means that almost all of the parenting tasks are done by one of two parents, or only one parent. It can be isolating. When I first became a mom, we were living three hours from my family and did not know anyone in our town. It changed my life to lean into that vulnerability, and find friendship with other mommas. Creating lasting friendships with people that live in close proximity to us allows for help and support when needed, but also the opportunity to build memories and bonds with other people experiencing similar seasons of life. If you are lucky enough to live by people you love already, strengthen those existing connections.

It can feel intimidating to put yourself out there, but the support and bonds of friendship are priceless. Volunteer to host a playdate or see if there are local groups to join. Drive to see family or invite them over for a meal. Nothing has to be perfect. Human connection should alleviate stress; not add to it. Your home should be lived in, your kids should have toys out, your heart should be seen and valued by those you love and there is not one thing more valuable than our relationships.

5.) Ask For Help

In the thick of long days, there are moments when everything feels overwhelming. That is when it becomes easy to tell ourselves that we are the only ones experiencing these emotions, and those thoughts can be isolating. Do not let the fear of people seeing your vulnerability keep you from asking for help. 

You do not have to have it all together, all the time. All parents,  regardless of circumstances, are human. And humans need help. We accomplish significantly more together. 

Despite what you may think, it is so critical that we learn to ask for help when we need it. It does not in any way mean you are weak or that you cannot handle the tough challenges of life. Do not let the fear of being vulnerable keep you from seeking out help from friends, family, and loved ones when you need it most.

In The End…

Most importantly, I want you to know that you are not alone. Even when the days feel heavy, you have so much love and support surrounding you. Sometimes you have to create it. Sometimes you just have to search for it a little bit harder. Sometimes there are small changes that can be made (like adding in helpful and organic supplements) and sometimes the changes need to be greater (like seeing a therapist or seeking help when needed.) 

Motherhood is the greatest gift. I hope you cherish it, hold it, treasure it. You can do hard things. You can do anything. (Even while juggling.) 

*These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA. These products are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

In Amazon’s thrilling and powerful show, The Wilds, this is the stark, new normal for a group of young women. Within this varied crew, we meet Nora, an incredibly brave and quiet soul.

Abruptly, Nora and her peers are faced with this uncomfortable, startling reality.

What does it mean to be a young woman when so much of your normalcy has been stripped away? How do you find yourself in the chaos? How do you form friendships and bonds with girls who are trying their best to navigate their own growth, while simultaneously surviving this incredible trauma? 

I can tell you, I have almost arrived at the gates of my thirties, and there are still versions of myself I have not met yet. Versions of me still waiting to evolve, waiting to manifest themselves through lessons and years. 

But in this one, at this moment in time? I am many things, but in my heart, Nora and I have the same common love of words. We are writers. 

I have always written, always loved the ebb and flow of language. I find myself in words, buried in sentences, slid in between bound paperbacks and library shelves. 

What if words filled your mind in a way that calmed instead of rattled? What if not everything needed to be said, but instead was simply felt, thought, or written down to be lived again someday?

It isn’t without exception, but I have found that sometimes the best poetry is written from the hushed in-between moments. 

In The Wilds, these moments are harder and harder for Nora to come by, and it is these moments, however small and almost imperceptible, that help stir and evoke emotion, that take shape in the recesses of our memory. And aren’t we all yearning for a little bit of poetry; a little bit of beauty to seep in between the cracks, the way the sun does through our curtains in the morning.

It is often the quiet that allows thought to blossom into a true, well-rounded story. 

And so it goes that on a sleepy, rainy Monday, I might revel in solitude. I might float through the day like river water, with my head high up in the clouds. On a sun-soaked Thursday, I might want to dance. I might want to stretch my wings and greet the world. I might smile at strangers. 

You can be both. 

Like me, like Nora, you can be a great many things.

In fact, courage is often quiet, radiating from a place inside of us that is infinitely precious and reserved for when needed. You can exist within stillness and yet remain a murmuring brook of strength. You can build a fortress of softness, and still carry an intangible, roaring bravery. 

If needed it is possible to hold these pieces all at once, and you have probably more times than you know, without even realizing it. 

Perhaps with a tight grip, perhaps with loose fingers. It is all a part of your story. It is all part of Nora’s story, too. Part of the seconds and minutes and years that make up our lives. 

It goes the same way for me. Writing is such an immeasurable piece of my life story, but it isn’t the whole story. It is merely one small segment of a much larger, grand outline of my life.

Each day you wake up is a new chapter, filled with your own composition of rich, textured layers and subtle nuances. We all have them. We all experience the world through our own multidimensional built-in lenses. 

We all have different traumas, different hardships, different struggles. We are no different from all of the girls in The Wilds; we all have different milestones, celebrations, moments of joy. The truth is, beneath the surface of everyone you will ever meet, there are a million lives, a thousand stories unfolding and developing. All of us surviving in our own ways, and all of our stories invaluable. 

Here is the secret: there are so many versions of you. There are so many versions of all of us. You might be a writer, too. You might be a listener, a singer, a tap dancer. You might be an artist, an observer, an analytical thinker. 

It is up to you to decide which pieces of your life you lean into. You are the president, the CEO, the manager and all of the employees. 

You have to figure out which pieces light you up and which ones hinder you. 

This is the hard part. 

But if you get stuck, and the answer isn’t a clear one, sometimes watching people walk their own individual paths can help us sort through ours. Maybe taking the night of December 11th to catch the free premiere of The Wilds could be cathartic, or at the least, could allow you to feel connected to people experiencing the same feelings that you are.

I have always believed that poetry, that connection, heals. To lean in, truly lean into our complete selves, we have to first understand. Poetry opens the door to that deep-rooted understanding. Because we have to understand the selves within us that have a foothold in each of our facets. The selves that fight for us, love us, challenge us, bring us pleasure and joy. 

You and I are enough just like this: quiet, loud, taking up space, remaining small, full of fear or full of courage. Throwing our heads back as we laugh, standing alone at a party. Soft and hard, wise and foolish. Discovering. Growing. Writing and writing and writing.

Enough. Just as we are. All of the versions of us.

Watch the first episode of ‘The Wilds’ for free for a limited time on Prime Video’s YouTube.

We struggle to understand this need, and so we dismantle it. We tear it apart piece by piece until the complexity overwhelms us. We label it, dismiss it, attempt to fight the notion that above all else, we love to be loved.

But, in truth, this is what makes us human. Our primal desire to be loved and accepted. What is love if not the core reason we push through our days, and a large percentage of that stems from our longing for family and community.

Family, for most people, is the back bone. The defining factors. Whether they have stayed or did not know how to. Whether they are the hands that hold or the arms that had no choice but to let go. Whether they have always been the lungs that give breath and answered phone calls or a quiet, sought out echo.

How do you define family? Is it a limited view? Is it blood and blood alone?

What of the family you have created? The family that you have chosen and the family that has, without question, chosen you? The people who have been called to you, the people who have joined your family by chance or with great determination?

Your world has been pieced together by opposing forces and circumstances, by experiences, by hope and love, and so has your family. Family should be and is a much greater spectrum than solely the people we share DNA with.

We have to reevaluate our own internalized concepts and pause long enough to consider what it means to have people in our world that change not only how we think about our lives, but also the way that we live them.

These are the people. These are OUR people. The ones who have held us up, who have voiced their own beliefs and struggles so that we did not feel quite so alone. The people who understand our laughter and our silence. Those who have met us at the door when we couldn’t stand another minute, who have checked in, who have known without knowing.

Those who have shown up, over and over again, without coercion, without anything to gain. The supporters, the guides, the translators and the native tongue.

By definition, family is made up of the descendants of a common ancestor.

I think that our common ancestors can be joy, and the way friendships teach us to revel in it. It can be resolve. It can be steel bones and a thirst for adventure. I think family is hand spun, woven from an ancient, unseen tapestry of light. A thousand different voices looping a sweet lullaby through loss, through trauma, through separation and reunion.

My wild, untethered heart has loved, claimed, and chosen family before I even had the opportunity to navigate the depths of my relationships. And how blessed am I to name anyone at all as my foundation?

How blessed are you to find family that does not require you to be anything other than who you are?

How blessed are you to be born into family, to have bonds that are unbreakable?

How blessed are you to have friends that have become unyielding sisters and brothers?

How blessed are you to call anyone family, and to have them call you home?

Above all, this is the most vital. We are arriving into the new year slowly, and there is still a subtle air of newness, an air of change and possibility. Take advantage of this transitional period by figuring out what brings you joy and dissecting what brings your sorrow. Focus on all of the little things that light you up, and try to create them in a tangible way on a daily basis.

Where there is still aching, make strides to heal and reconnect.

Love your people wholly, meditate, see a therapist, allow yourself the room and space for true growth to enter into your life.

If you can create from a place of fullness, what you build will be full, too.

SHIFT FROM DREAMS TO GOALS

When we think of dreams as such large, looming things, that is just what they become. They float out of reach and dissipate before they ever reach us.

Perhaps, try breaking it into smaller, more attainable moments.

Instead of reaching for the stars first and finding out your arms aren’t long enough on their own, sit down and map out a plan for the journey. What is the first step to finding a way to bridge the gap? What is the second?

What is something you can do today to make strides towards those first few goals?

SPEAK IT INTO THE UNIVERSE AS REALITY

Speak of your dreams only as if they will happen. Never as a what if. Never as a could be. Never as possibly or potentially or who knows what the future holds. Speak that big, beautiful dream of yours into the universe. Do not allow doubt into your words, your conversations, or your vocabulary.

MAKE YOUR DREAMS A PRIORITY

Your life is this great landscape of moments and decisions, of interwoven paths, all with different seasons and destinations. In this one, make your dreams a priority. Decide your dreams hold real weight and significance in your life and then begin by treating them as such.

You are responsible for creating your own life, and I hope you will create it with everything you have. I hope you will choose to create it wholeheartedly. Choose to create it with passion. Fill it well.

PUT IN THE WORK

You have to put in the hours, do the research, write the pages. You have to take the photos, the leap, the chance on yourself and your work. No-one is going to believe in your art, in your craft, in your dream, as much as you do. It is yours, after all, and you must foster and nurture it into fruition.

Dedicate a specific amount of time each day to it, channel your love and your creativity into it, build it from the ground up.

See what kind of wonders you can make with your heart, mind, and hands all working in unison towards your one, magnificent dream.